Off-form today

Yeah. I was off-form today during climbing. The feeling was just not there. None of the confident foothold and foot-steps. Arms were like so heavy. I tried to lead a simple route. Half way through, I just felt that today was not the day. I was a wreck. My legs were shaking like jelly. I was a nervous reck. So I gave up. I told my partner to let me down. Rather do that then to force my way up. You see, in sports, if you just don't feel right, the game ain't gonna be any better. Anyhow, I still manage to climb just that I was not able to lead. I felt tired and beaten. I cannot continue. Every move that I made was just not right. I was pushing myself too hard. It's ok to push yourself hard but when you feel things aren't right, don't push. It won't get any better. You won't feel any better. There's nothing to achieve in this case.

I guess everybody has an off-day where everything that you do just doesn't seem right. Yesterday, Curious Kitty was telling that I am having a career crisis or rather she is also having one too. Find other opportunities to realize your potential or accept the fact that I am down in the dumps. So here I am now. I admit I am having a career crisis. I do not enjoy what I do anymore. I try to contribute whatever I can at the moment. That will not be good in the long run. I will end up grumpy, disoriented and demotivated. I lose my temper too easily nowadays.

What can one do? Create your own path. If you hit a boulder in your path, go over it. Well, actually, if you are an explosive expert, blast it to oblivion but I don't think that'll do any good. Like someone said, trying to kill an ant with a bazooka. The other thing is expectation. OK. I got the expectation part right. I do not expect things to go smoothly. It's gonna be difficult trying to carve something out for your career. I will do what I have to do. I know this is part of a long journey in my career. After completing my MBA part-time, a new journey begins. This is the journey. It sux actually. A battle was lost, the war is not lost yet.

Do things which are out of your comfort zone if you want to improve or if you seek satisfaction for yourselves. Next, I have to plan. After planning what I want to do and how I am going to do it, I have to measure this with reality. Does everything sum up? Hey you know it's not a "Wonderland" out there. Just because you plan, that doesn't mean things will fall in place. Murphy's law says, everything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Hope I got that right. This is the other thing in my journey that I am having trouble with. Creating a concrete plan.

It's gonna be a long hard journey from now on. Since I am leaving for that "wonderful" place called Ka-la-chi. I am not looking forward to that work assignment but things need to be done and I have my responsibilities.

And yeah, I have to do lead climbing and climb more difficult routes. If I were to accoplish that, that would be an achievement for me personally.

I do not expect anything to come on a silver platter. Though that would be nice if it happens once in awhile. We all could use some nice things to happen to us.

Ya baby!

Looking forward to the weekend

It's the weekend at last. It's rest time. Almost actually. I've been complaining for the past few days, weeks and months about work. Well, screw work!

Just renewed my passport as I forgot to check earlier that I do not have the mandatory 6 months period. I rushed to get it done. Well, at least the immigration has became more efficient. Got everything settled within 2 days. On the first day, I went there to submit my documents. That took 1 hour and this did not include travelling time. The next day I had to return to collect the passport. That took another hour not including travelling. I guess that's a improvement to the 3 days period which was needed last time.

Well, weekend liao. Gotta prepare my necessities for my trip. Looking forward to the climbing on Sunday. Tomorrow I will wash and wax my car. I feel a bit depressed so I am waxing the car. Another reason is because of the rainy season. Have to protect the car a bit. What I really need now is a wax applicator. Am using the normal cotton cloth. Not that good. Gotta really thing where to get the applicator. There's one going for 5 bucks. Err...kinda pricy for an applicator. Guess I'll go look for quality cloth.

I still have to get some dumb work done. Hopefully can find some time to look through things and think about it.

It's the weekend. I wanna rest and recharge myself.

Go baby!

The end is near.

It's confirmed that I will be leaving for Pakistan early next month for a project implementation. Not enthuastic nor looking forward to the trip. Work really sux and things will get tough in this implementation.

I've got nothing against the country. I've got somethings against the people whom I will be working with...people whom we call clients. I guess everybody deals with difficult clients.

On the other hand, I am trying to get all things ready. However, some of these tasks are out of my hand. Dammit.

Really feel like cursing. Haven't blogged for some time already.

Like they say...

Damn kau sien...
And going to Pakistan...is really Damn Kau Sien * 2

Lots of questions going through my head at this moment. Hell, trying to be optimistic too.

Bugger!

Non-stop complaints

I complain too much. Especially when things are not going smoothly.
I've got a headache now, because I am thinking hard on how to solve the problems arising from work.

But if I don't complain, then how do I express myself?

Lemme think.

Confused baby!

Only after realizing

Have you ever encountered a situation where you only realized how stupid you were or how careless you were after an incident? Or how important something is only after it has passed. Here's 2 situation.

I received a call from the "World's Local Bank" to confirm my mailing address. I gave to the person who called. Yeah, the caller identified herself and stated where she was. So I gave her my address and she confirmed with me that it matches the one which she has. Only after the conversation I realized I shouldn't have done so until I have enquired on why is she asking for it. Sure, I know why actually. But I am only assuming that she is doing it for that same reason. What I should have done is to ask her what and why is she asking this information for. She could be someone with bad intention targetting the place which I am staying just to check if anyone is in the house. If some stranger asks you for some personal details, ask them why. Even if it's the cops, ask them why.

"Kenapa encik, ada apa masalah?" (Translated : Is there any problem?)

Another situation is I received a telephone call on a certain career opportunity. Yes, the caller introduced herself and told me why and where is she calling from. They need some information from me and I am actually happy to provide them with it. What's wrong you tell me? I requested that she drop me an email so that I can reply to it. This is so ensure that I got the correct email. I've confirmed that my email which she is having is correct. However, I did not get her email on the phone. Now I end up with 2 problems. No email contact and I have forgotten her name. Another lesson learnt, confirm the email first and always record the name down. Or record any details down on a piece of paper or anything if it is an important call.

WHACK MY OWN HEAD!

I'm not paranoid but rather all these little itsy bitsy stuff are part of effective communication. If we miss out these little details, part of the communication is already lost.

Dammit!

Time

Time and tide waits for no man.

Well, that's what I am feeling now. So much to do, so little time, and so little resources. Or rather limited resources. Both in life and work. I really feel like sighing loudly.

What would you do?

Do my best.

Sad baby!

Yay... it's the weekend

Yup. Weekend liao.

Got up early to clean my car. Have been cleaning my car almost every week because of the wet weather. Soil stains and water stains. Including those pesky ants. There are still on my car hiding in every nook and crevices. Damn! Took the water hose and hosed some of em of. Drown em little buggers. Later when I checked, some of them are still there. Ok. Lemme see if I got this right. If these pesky ants cannot find food they will eventually die (err..that's good). But they are still around. I hope I can starve them long enough and disturb them frequently enough until they perish or leave. Or I can get some kerosene and make a DIY flame thrower. Hahaha...

While I was washing my car, a lady approached me. She was cleaning her car right after coming back from somewhere. She asked if it's ok because there's smoke coming out from the engine bay. It's ok because the engine is hot and it touched water. Then she told me some bastards from somewhere ripped a car and stole the tires, engine and whole lot of stuff from the car. Putting in a simple way, they stripped the car for spares. I guess crime is getting more frequent not just at my place but almost everywhere. What can we do? We can't stop these bastards unless we catch them and these other buggers are not easy to catch. They're thieves anyway. MOst of the time, I will inform the other neighbours if something like this happened. So that everyone will be aware and be alert in case of strangers around of housing area. I think those bastards are also pros. Must be mechanics or used to work as mechanics.

My mum has always this theory on why people or rather these bastards steal. To generate business. Someone steals the wheels, let's say. not just one but 4. THe poor fella has to replace them. Goes to a workshop to replace them. See, the business guys benefit. I do not think that all business guys are like that so shitty but some are. Like those newpaper reports on unscrupulous tow-truck operators purposely creating accident spots on the highway. In economics, it's called the spill-over effect. If this happens, so will that. If there is no demand, there will not be any supply.

So, my theory is if we are aware of what's happening, we will be more alert and hopefully prevent these thefts. The other thing that pisses me off are the theft of drain and manhole covers. Blardy bastards.

It's weekend. It's my time. Let's make the most of it. Let's also stick together and overcome these stealing bunch of losers.

Also, to my Nottingham uni mates who are going complete their dissertation, congrats. You are almost there and many more challenges lay ahead. Go Kitty go go go!

Go baby!

Overcoming Weaknesses

Yeap. I wanna overcome my weaknesses. Or at least of of them, for a start.

Our strength grows out of our weaknesses
Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Poet, 1803-1882)

You see, I sometimes stammer. And now as I become more consious about it, I stammer even more. I have been trying to overcome this for quite some time now. One of the ways which I found was through Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP). Have only touched the surface on NLP. But I know the basic concept is to conceptualize the conversation and focus on it. Block the unwanted thoughts. Think positively.

It has been a struggle for me to communicate effectively. I have not given up. Instead, I have only just begun.

Cheers!

Ants...Ants!

Ants everywhere. I parked my car too near to a bush last night. This morning, I found my car covered with ants. They are like harvesting some morning dew or something. Why else would they be on my car. I've learnt my lesson on not to park too near to the bush. Dammit. I thought if I had a water spray...that would do the trick. Blast them back to oblivion. Spray the remaining bugs out of my car. I guess it's car clearning time this weekend and not to mention the 2 bird droppings on my car. Some birds have nothing better to do. It must be a sport to them. Lesson learnt, do not park your car too near the bushes. I have this problem of parking, I park too close to the corner. Why? I was aiming for the perfect parking. Dammit!

Well, people say you learn something every day.

Hope the heat in the parking basement will drive them out. I don't want them to start harvesting on me. Hahaha....

Good morning Kuala Lumpur!

Ya baby!

Grinding stone

Grind grind grind

It's back to the grinding stone people. Back to work, back to reality.
Sigh....

Demotivated baby

Troubled mind

Yea, I am feeling troubled. Not because of the holidays are ending and it's back to work. Screw work...hehe..again. Not because there's lack of parking around my housing area. Just many things running through my mind. These things and thoughts are troubling me.

I feel refreshed after the holidays. The spirit in me has been replenished. I feel strong and ready to take on the world again. That's besides feeling troubled.

I went climbing outdoors again. Tried to lead a route. Wasn't successful..almost there. Just lost the push to complete the route. So I came down. But I am not done yet, I shall conquer that route again. Should also blog more about climbing and techniques. Anyway, the rule of the thumb for climbing is balance and composure. Do not panic. Do not grip the rock like there's no tomorrow. Apply enough pressure and balance that big fat arse of yours.

OK. Stop now. I've gotta figure out about posting pictures in my blog. Said that too many darn times.

Groovy baby.

How much can you achieve in a day

Nope not talking about work. Screw work. Hehe...

Before I begin today's blog, lemme just tell you guys what I saw this morning nearby the place I am staying. 2 guys ushering a girl into a car. Girl was reluctant to get into the car but no fight against the two guys. She didn't fight anyway but was complaining. I don't really know what's actually going on but this incident is sticking in my mind up till now. It's not something you would want to see very often.

Today I did lots of stuff. Got up early and washed my car. Yup, I normally wash my car myself. Didn't detail it..or rather wax it since detailing is what the pros do. I just..let's say..wax it. But not today. However I did apply some tire dressing and apply some paint to patch the bottom of the bonnet which was affected by battery acid. Basket.... Then I helped my friend to clean her car. Used a paint cleaner and then after that applied a layer of wax. Both of us were doing it, so it took like about 1 hour to 2. Not bad. Gave some improvement to the car but just slightly better. I guess the car needs to be waxed a few more times. Next, went to play ping pong and then swimming. I am dead tired now. After that, called my cousin to pass some stuff my mum asked me to. Darn good boy me. Lastly, had dinner with relative nearby PJ.

I am dead tired. The point is I manage to get these things or rather activities done. My partner was so happy and she said, we did so many things together today. I guess that's what matters. Quality time spent both together and individually.

Are we having any quality time? Or rather are we getting enough quality time? At the moment, I can only do my best.

Ya baby!

Where have all the good times gone (Part 2)

Today I went to pay my best buddy Rene a visit. It's been awhile since I last went to find him. Work commitments and my other in-frequent sporting activities has taken up most of my time nowadays. Screw work anyway.

Time really flies when you are having a good time. I went Rene's place in the morning. Snap of a finger and it's evening.Boy..this really can't be happening. I've just started to enjoy my free time and holidays. Actually, I've been enjoying my holiday since my trip back to Ipoh.

We were commenting about our lives. The things we have gone through. Since college years until today. Many things has happened in our lives. Sometimes I wonder, are we better off now than last time.. most of our college mates seemed to be better off, being happily married and having kids. Family life hasn't reach Rene and me yet. It's not that we do not want to start a family, actually we already have a family...just that time and place has never been on our side. People say it's luck. But Rene and I know, our day will come.

A few years ago, after I left college and starting, I thought I would never see or keep in touch with Rene anymore. Hey presto, one day while I was walking back to my rented place, it's that big size guy, Rene walking out. Haha...deja vu. After awhile, I lost contact with Rene. Then one day in PJ, we manage to get into contact again. We were staying quite near actually. We starting hanging out again. Deja vu. There was once my ex-company which incidently was a .COM closed, and I was out of job. Rene helped me that time and allowed to utilise the internet. Working life was tough that time for the both of us. Then there was a period where I had to leave Malaysia for Cyprus for a training assignment and we lost in touch for about 6 months plus. One day while going down the escalator as Ampang Park LRT, someone tapped on my shoulder. It was Rene! Deja Vu. He was working somewhere really close to my current workplace. What a farking coincidence cos I never thought I will be able to contact him anymore as we lost contact.

I know our lives will get better. Bigger and better things, chasing dreams and achieving success will be the norm in our lives.

Our day will come soon.... mark my words people.

Groovy baby!

Work work

If you do play WarCraft, then you will know that the pinion (can't remember the exact term)...or slave always says "work work".

That's what I was trying to do. Trying to get some office work done. But hit bumps and bigger bumps. Now I really feel helpless. it's a public holiday and most of your colleagues are on leave. Sure being a global office, we have colleagues everywhere in the world. But it is just not that easy.

So I am stuck with a problem related to work. How to overcome? I did ask for help from a colleague elsewhere. I hope she replies. Or else, I will have to wait till Monday. Then again, it's the public holiday and I shouldn't be doing any office work.

My hometown mate working in Vietnam says he works during public holidays and whenever it is required. Yea I know. That's how life is. But you see, he's the boss of his firm, while I am the...slave. Hahaha..

Maybe it's time I should ask myself, why am I facing these problems. Also why do I feel so frustrated and dissapointed with work.

A change could be the remedy. Meanwhile, I'll just hang in there... by a thread.

Dang!